sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
