But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
