I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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