When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
sex in a hospital.. check
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
