Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
