I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
