is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
