It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
