We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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