Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
