super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i will never coherently bang her
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
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