We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
