...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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