he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Your shirt... Was in my pants
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
