she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
