As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
