S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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