bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
