just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
