Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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