im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
