so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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