Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
