ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
