JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
