And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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