I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Randomize
