He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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