I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
