You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
