Jerry, you need to find god
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
