i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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