I forgot how hot balto sounded
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
