i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize