The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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