I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
