Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
i think my cat just said my name.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
