that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
one might say we're banned from that church
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
