you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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