I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
