how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
