pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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