I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
too bad you live with your parents still
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
