my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
