Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
