think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
