if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
