sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
