Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
