Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
