Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
