please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
