Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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