Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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