whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
