i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
