oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
