11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
